11:57 am, July 2nd, 2010


For a publication that occasionally prints fiction, In Touch sure has trouble grasping the concept of “make believe.”

Every time two people share a movie screen, the tab mistakes it for actual romance — or at least assumes everyone else does.

In April, the magazine fretted that Renee Zellweger’s “worst nightmare” had come true as boyfriend Bradley Cooper “developed a tight bond” with The Dark Fields co-star Abbie Cornish.

Of course, there was nothing to it. Cooper and Cornish worked together on the movie… and that’s it.

In May, the tabloid insisted Demi Moore “may be on to something” in being suspicious of husband Ashton Kutcher’s Friends With Benefits love scenes with Natalie Portman.

Again, the supposed jealousy was complete nonsense.

Now, In Touch sets its uniquely untrained eye on Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

Stewart, argues the tab, ”has reason to worry” about Pattinson since he’s allegedly shared “secret dinners” with their mutual Twilight Saga cast mate, Anna Kendrick. Meanwhile, “another threat” to their relationship supposedly comes from his Water for Elephants co-star Reese Witherspoon.

A “set insider” tells In Touch Pattinson and Witherspoon “laugh, flirt and hang out together,” making Stewart so nervous she avoids visiting him at work.

Excuse Gossip Cop while we pause to chuckle at the story’s desperation.

In the Moore and Zellweger versions of this story, In Touch claimed each star visited her partner’s set out of jealousy and insecurity. Now, with Stewart not visiting the Water For Elephants production, all of a sudden that’s the sign of jealousy and insecurity.

Talk about choosing whatever logic happens to be most convenient.

Here’s another gem: According to the same “source,” Stewart is always asking Pattinson what he thinks of Witherspoon, “And while he admits she’s a great person, he doesn’t mention how attractive and fun he finds her.”

Is this a joke? The fact that Pattinson doesn’t say he finds Witherspoon “attractive and fun” is evidence that Stewart has become increasingly paranoid about their relationship?

A source close to Stewart tells Gossip Cop the entire premise is beyond laughable.

It seems like In Touch is way more insecure than any of the people it covers. What else could explain the bizarre lengths it travels to prove a baseless claim?